If i could tip my vagina, i would.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
