just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
