it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just found puke in my bra..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
