Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
