do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
