it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
