Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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