Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
