Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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