sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
