That reminds me...we need to get swords
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize