There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
