i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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