He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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