he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just gift wrapped bread.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
