Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
