oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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