Everything about him screamed your future.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
