Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
nutella sex= disaster
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
