There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
