Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
