Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
