That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
