Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
