Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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