so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
