Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
