He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Still dying that you shit outside
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
