I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
