you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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