I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
