I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
