I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
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Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize