I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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