why didn't you poke me back
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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