he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
