I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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