The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
