So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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