Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
