Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I bet he comes in French.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
