Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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