I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
