Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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