When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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