Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize