I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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