I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
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who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There are leaves in my underwear?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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