she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
