its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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