my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
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I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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