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Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
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