Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !

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(248): The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo ! http://tfl.nu/e5q2

Replies (5) Good night (1365) Bad night (690)
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(518): View more from New York

i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur

(413): View more from Massachusetts

did it start talking like on Land before time?

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(518): i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur (413): did it start talking like on Land before time? http://tfl.nu/4v1u

Replies (12) Good night (4045) Bad night (632)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy

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(778): I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy http://tfl.nu/o3jf

Replies (19) Good night (5603) Bad night (1252)
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(614): View more from Ohio

every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.

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(614): every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with. http://tfl.nu/j96s

Replies (11) Good night (1269) Bad night (2983)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes

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(920): I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes http://tfl.nu/1teg

Replies (9) Good night (4266) Bad night (771)
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(607): View more from New York

do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?

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(607): do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers? http://tfl.nu/jybn

Replies (10) Good night (1877) Bad night (850)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.

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(502): Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore. http://tfl.nu/k6j5

Replies (3) Good night (1988) Bad night (877)
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(818): View more from California

we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.

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(818): we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices. http://tfl.nu/8xc8

Replies (9) Good night (2454) Bad night (744)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?

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(704): HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES? http://tfl.nu/cu3x

Replies (8) Good night (2076) Bad night (869)
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(813): View more from Florida

Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?

(813): View more from Florida

Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?

(1-813): View more from Florida

Stop reading WebMD high.

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(813): Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around? (813): Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid? (1-813): Stop reading WebMD high. http://tfl.nu/y2j5

Replies (6) Good night (1091) Bad night (325)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Thats Poetry

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(610): Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is. (919): Thats Poetry http://tfl.nu/gxmw

Replies (7) Good night (845) Bad night (360)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?

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(613): Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus? http://tfl.nu/amrt

Replies (4) Good night (279) Bad night (744)
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(903): View more from Texas

I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.

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(903): I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat. http://tfl.nu/c6vl

Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (270)
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(229): View more from Georgia

I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am

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(229): I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am http://tfl.nu/ozx4

Replies (3) Good night (1096) Bad night (299)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.

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(505): I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked. http://tfl.nu/byyl

Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (252)

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