I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
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