hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
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I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
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I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.