Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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