Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.

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  (214): Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas. http://tfl.nu/702a
  Replies (47) Good night (8146) Bad night (837)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks

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  (813): So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks http://tfl.nu/x484
  Replies (13) Good night (6036) Bad night (986)
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  (716): View more from New York

  just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.

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  (716): just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that. http://tfl.nu/r8dq
  Replies (22) Good night (1929) Bad night (5986)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now

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  (662): I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now http://tfl.nu/5831
  Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (1187)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.

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  (+44): I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers. http://tfl.nu/28px
  Replies (4) Good night (1361) Bad night (537)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.

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  (716): I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming. http://tfl.nu/r1ch
  Replies (6) Good night (1629) Bad night (531)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"

  (1-416): View more from Toronto

  You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?

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  (416): She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?" (1-416): You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right? http://tfl.nu/2p2l
  Replies (17) Good night (2825) Bad night (665)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.

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  (609): So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me. http://tfl.nu/54rj
  Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (401)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember

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  (306): i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember http://tfl.nu/04pq
  Replies (1) Good night (698) Bad night (268)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She went to her drug test stoned.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.

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  (314): She went to her drug test stoned. (636): And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it. http://tfl.nu/x7e0
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (423)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool

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  (425): When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool http://tfl.nu/u20j
  Replies (6) Good night (762) Bad night (326)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.

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  (313): I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way. http://tfl.nu/m2c2
  Replies (4) Good night (1040) Bad night (347)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.

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  (904): Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/p7rc
  Replies (1) Good night (378) Bad night (578)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants

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  (404): yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants http://tfl.nu/r49e
  Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (248)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.

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  (937): I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key. http://tfl.nu/73ox
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (206)

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