Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize