just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
