College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
