You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
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Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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