She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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