cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
