Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
