Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
