I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
