he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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