dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He felt like a one man threesome
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
