Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
