I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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