DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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