Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
