Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
