but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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