Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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